Well. Today I did not do very well with my body house duties:
Today
Activity: Blogging with the keyboard
Activity Prompt: Write about the best sex partner you have ever been with. Descibe a favorite time with them
Alone or with partners: I ran super duper late, but I'm here! And we're together!
Drink and snack with activity: I just finished a halal cart style vegan chicken with cabbage and a cucumber, pepper, tomato salad. I am STUFFED. But I'm having a Polar Pink Apple and Lemon seltzer.
Physical activities log
Morning ab routine
5 ab roller rolls: Yup!
Blogilates morning abs: No - Sarting Dec. 30th
Quarter mile walk every hour on the hour, 10-5:
10: Yes
11: No - Driving
12: No - Driving/shopping
1: Shopping
2: Shopping
3: No - Driving/Shopping
4: No - Driving
5: No - Cooking
5PM Two Mile Walk: STARTING IN MARCH
Weighted walking: No - Starting Dec. 30th
Shoulder shrugs during the day: Yes
MON, WED, FRI STARTING DEC. 30th
45 minutes of PB:
TUE, THUR STARTING DEC. 30th
45 minutes of cycling:
45 minutes of weight lifting:
Macros
Carbs: 17/23
Fat: 86/144
Protein: 81/116
Calories: 1237/1850
I did not come from a sex positive household. My mom and step dad were pretty adamant that I stay away from boys, and I'm sure if I h ad been openly queer when I wanted to be, I wouldn't have been allowed to hang out with girls, either. My mom didn't talk to me about sex, it was very clear that sex was not meant for me to have.
But like.
Everybody knows about sex. Most people want to have sex, and even ace people, I would hazard a guess, are curious about the mechanics of sex at the veery least. I was more nervous about the ideaof sex than excited at the prospect of it. I had crushes on people....my crushes on boys I logged as crushes, but my crushes on girls I logged as envy...but it didn't translate into sex. All of sex made me nervous. Kissing made me nervous. I could not fucking BELIEVE that people put their tongues into each other's mouths and moved them around. What as the point of that? It couldn't possibly feel nice. And after kissing, then what? Someone was going to touch my boobs? Maybe? I had no idea what I was doing. The first time I even saw porn in a way that my brain could properly log it as sex was one of the first times I ever went over to Amber's. She asked me if I wanted to watch a porn with Ron Jeremy in it. I assumed I was supposed to know who that was so I was like, ok, of course! And then I was just...very aware of my entire body. Don't look too long, stay still, but not too still, do I look like someone who is seasoned at porn? How do you look nonchalant when there are people doing THAT on tv and your new friend is watching you? I don't even remember how I responded or what I did. I think it must have been way too awkward to keep in my memory.
I went from sexually shy nerd that couldn't imagine a world where she made out with ANYBODY let alone touched a bare weiner to complete fuckin' whorehound in under five years. I had sex for the first time at 14, it was terrible, I didn't have sex again until I was 16, it also was not great, but then I figured out that sex could be awesome, and I wanted to experience THAT. So I made myself very very VERY available. To almost everyone I could. For decades. Most of the sex I had was fine, nothing to write home about. Or even write in specifics in here about. No small number of sex partners were bad, but only a small few were really and truly great. If I had to guess, I am VERY close to having had sex with 100 people, if not definitely at the 100 mark. If we were to assume I am at 100 to make the numbers nice and even, I would say that five percent of my partners have been really and truly great.
Of that five percent, there is no contest at all over who my best sex partner is. It is Derek, hands down, he wins every time. Was he initially the best sex partner of my life? No. He was probably in the top 25% initially, good enough that I was definitely enthused about the idea of continuing to have sex with him, but Derek and I were not exclusive. When he asked me a few weeks in to label our relationship, how should he define us to people, I was like, bruh. Slow your roll. Date other people. Let's figure out if we actually really like each other before we try on labels and monogamy. I was very lazily seeing a few other people, but I was mostly waiting for Dan to realize that I was an immaculate cach an he loved me exactly as I was. Dan was not what any accurate historian of my life would call "good at making sex to me", and he also treated me like disposable window dressing, so. While I was waiting for Dan to come around, I got pretty bored with just about everybody I was seeing.
Except Derek.
The longer Derek and I hung out, and the more often we had sex, the more we understood each other sexually. Maybe this will cause a stir, but I am not like, a huge foreplay person. It's fun and all, but for a limited time. I am also not "let's have sex for hours" kind of girl. I top out at about ten, MAYBE fifteen minutes, but that is really pushing it. I have ADD pretty fucking bad, and my mind will wander and pull me right out of the moment, an hen I have to start all over again, so sex actually starts to get a little frustrating for me if it ttakes too long. No frustrating because I'm not enjoying myself, but frustrating because I want to stay in the moment and it is legitimately impossible for my brain.
Derek and I have been together for almost 11 years (in just a few weeks, we hit the eleven year mark! I think our first date was January 14th), and where we are now, I would say he is without a doubt the best sex of my life. He knows my body, he knows exactly what I like, he understands how my cycles impact sex, he listens, and like....I do not think I could have ever fathomed this in he days of being a hardcore slut, but I am not in the least bit bored.
I've been trying to think of the best sex time we had, and I stopped writing to tell Amber that it is criminal that Derek and I do not have any sex in exciting locales (we have had sex in just about every place we've everbeen, which means we've had sex in kingdoms AND countries! Which I suppose counts as exciting locales?) to recount as an exceptionally special or great sex moment. I have had all manner of sex in all manner of places with all manner of other people, and the thing is, I would still rather have sex with Derek at home. Every single time.
I do find myelf occasionally wishing that Derek was a bit more about the like...oh, we're out for a day of errands, but let's pop into this super remote area to fuck in the car really fast, but even that isn't an indictment on how good or bad our sex is. It is top tier. I have never felt more sexually understood in my entire life. Derek says that the same is true for me, that I am the best sex of his life, but I wonder sometimes if that's a lie. It isn't like I haven't told people that they're excellent at sex when they just weren't. I would like to know if it were not the truth but I would not want to know if it was a lie.
So. It's Derek. Derek wins.
AND I finished my blog before Amber!!! First time ever!!
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