They're probably straightforward nipples

Let's see  how we did today:

Today

Activity: Blogging with the bestie!

Activity Prompt: If you could take on the exact body of anyone else on Earth, who would it be and why?

Alone or with partners: With the bestie!

Drink and snack with activity: Key Lime Pie Bar and keto moscow mule with Six Mile Vodka from Ithaca (pictured below)

Physical activities log

Morning ab routine

5 ab roller rolls: Yes

Blogilates morning abs: No - Starting Dec. 30th

Quarter mile walk every hour on the hour, 10-5:

10: Yes

11: Yes

12: Yes (double with Alex)

1: Yes

2: Yes

3: Yes

4: Yes

5: Yes

5PM Two Mile Walk: STARTING IN MARCH

Weighted walking: No - Starting Dec. 30th

Shoulder shrugs during the day: Yes ( at time of blogging)

MON, WED, FRI

45 minutes of PB: No - Starting Dec. 30th

TUE, THUR

45 minutes of cycling: No - Starting Dec. 30th

45 minutes of weight lifting: No - Starting Dec. 30th

Macros

Carbs: 17/23

Fat: 160/144

Protein: 83/116

Calories: 2179/1850

The treat? Delightful. The drink? A fucking disaster. Oh my god it is so fucking gross. I made a ginger syrup for it and everything, and it makes me want to lash out irrationally.

Few things are less kept under lock and key for me than the fact hat I fucking hate everything about how Iook. I have a mid as fuck face, my body is kinda like...an average mess of squish and horrible proportions, and there is nothing overtly fuckable about my body or my face. Other than the existence of my holes, I am insanely forgettable. I have had a few times in my life where I have had a pretty great body. Check me out:

And if you're into looking at my extraordinarily long ass:

HOW IS MY ASS SO FUCKING LONG.

Long ass aside, I think my body looks killer in those photos. That was only three short years ago, and I was working out all the fucking time, I was super strict about being a keto vegan, and I hadn't yet fully succumbed to the mind-numbing awfulness of living in Missouri.

but what about your ugly face, I hear you asking. Yes, thank you, it is an ugly face! Maybe not ugly, but just like....really average? Aggessively average. See for yourself, in both professionally taken photos of me:

AND non-professional. Well, hang on, I am a  professional photographer, and I took these photos, but like...it is just a selfie. 

I just don't take very many photos of my face. Mainly because I fucking hate it. 

I hate my face, and I hate the fuckin' body it's sitting on the top of. Wost topper EVER.

But you know who I think is practically perfect looking in every way? Like, their face and body are fucking killer and I would love to be them?

My runner up was Laverne Cox. I think she is also perfection. She's gorgeous....like, drop deaad fucking gorgeous....she's tall, and I wish I were taller, she's toned, I just think she is one of the most incredibl looking women alive.  But, if we're stooping to non-feminist levels of judging bodies and faces so we can covet them, she is a little on the skinny side for my wants. 

If I could take on any person's body in the whole world, it would be Ashley fucking Graham. 

LOOK. 

LOOK SOME MORE.

Look at who's showing off their perfectly reasonably measured ass.

Brag about it to ol' long ass, you fucking minx.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????????????

And her face, oh my god. 

Can we PLEASE come up with face swapping....face stealing...whatever I need to do to have her face? I am so fucking tird of looking like myself when this is, apparently, an option.  

I fucking hate my normal parents. I DEMAND BETTER GENES, RETROACTIVE IMMEDIATELY. 

She's it. She's my choice. 

Which is admittedly fucking bizarre, because one of my biggest gripes about my body is my size. Ashley Graham and  I are the same height at 5'9, she weighs more than I do...or did, I believe she underwent a gasric bypass and has since lost quite a bit of weight. To be clear, I am fully coveting Ashley Graham's body pre-bypass. In the photos I posted. So I complain about my body at 5'9, 190 right now, but I am fully willing to body thief it up with a body that is similar OR bigger to mine??? What kind of nonsense is that nonsense?

Whatever kind of nonsense it is, she's my pick. All day, every day. 

I had to edit this to wite my why, because I was kind of rushing. Bestie is tits deep in doing something massive for work, so I wasn't concentrating on being thorough, I was concentrating on being done. 

I have always kind of like...known I was in a bigger body, and I have always wanted to be ok with that. I never have been. I feel like I have a body that was designed to be athletic...like, when I was younger, my dad wanted me to be a boxer. I played tennis instead. I have a body that doeslook really good when it's toned...not everybody does...but I  have always yearned to be soft and gorgeous. Ashley Graham is soft and gorgeous. She  looks proportional to me, she looks powerful, she looks confident, she looks like fucking royalty. 

I don't really have much more to elaborate on? I wish I had clearer reasons that  make more sense other than something vague  like, "I dunno man, she's just bangin'?" But that's all there is. Ashley Graham is perfect looking in every way.